


The Return of Hades

by Sweet_Wing_Queen101



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adopted Potter OC, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Brief Snape Bashing, Dark!Harry, Dark!Hermione, Defeating the Dark Lord the Slytherin Way, Dolores Umbridge Bashing, Ginny Bashing, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Resort, Ron Bashing, Seriously A Lot of Torturing Umbridge, Slytherin!Harry, Slytherin!Hermione - Freeform, Voldemort Bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Wing_Queen101/pseuds/Sweet_Wing_Queen101
Summary: Harry stared at the boy, who smiled lazily."Hadrian?""Hello, little brother. Did you miss me?"Harry had an older brother, one he never told anyone about, mostly because Hadrian Potter had some... interesting ideas about torture and thieving.How was he to know that his long-lost brother would return after his fourteenth birthday, now the leader of the Dark Wizards?orHarry defeats the Dark Lord the Slytherin way... which means a lot less death and more laughs.orSirius gets a kick out of pranking Death Eaters. Remus pretends to be annoyed by this.orHadrian Potter is a terrifying son of a gun.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Fred Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Luna Lovegood/George Weasley, Original Male Character(s)/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 29
Kudos: 195





	1. Dementors and Dark Lords

A sudden chill descended on the alley. Harry froze, but Dudley didn't notice; the boy was still blaming the sudden depressed thoughts on his cousin.

"S-s-s-stop! O-or I'll h-hit you!" Dudley choked.

"Dudley, if I wanted revenge, you would be feeling much worse," Harry snapped, pulling out his wand. "And I can't use magic outside of school except in self-defense. Keep quiet."

His cousin gaped at him stupidly. Harry stared around the alley, looking for the cloaked menaces from Azkaban....

He cursed again, making Dudley jump. There were three of them!

\---------

"What do you mean, Umbridge sent three dementors after my brother?" Hades hissed, causing the two teens in front of him to flinch.

Corvus and Clay Lestrange, also known as Phobos and Deimos, said nothing. When their Lord was mad, it was best to stay quiet.

"Well." Hades straightened. "It seems I'm returning a little sooner than I had planned...." He stood up from the throne and pulled out a mirror. "Nyx."

A young woman with dark, lidded eyes appeared. "Yes, my Lord?" she cooed.

"No one will be able to contact me for a few months except for Asclepius, who will be coming with me. I will establish contact again when I am not around staunch Light supporters."

"Yes, my Lord," Nyx pouted. "Why are you taking _Asclepius_ with you?"

"Do not disrespect my healer, Nyx." Hades' voice was ice. "I am taking him because he is the _least_ insane and the _most_ kind of my followers."

"And because you like him," Deimos muttered, before blanching when Hades glared at him.

"I'm sorry, my Lord," Nyx muttered. "I won't disrespect the softie."

Hades sighed irritably. "... _as_ you disrespect Cle..."

"What will you be doing, my Lord?" Nyx asked curiously. Phobos and Deimos looked up with interest.

Hades gave a deadly smile. "Winning."

_Asclepius: god of medicine, son of Apollo_

_Nyx: goddess of night_

_Phobos: god of fear, son of Ares_

_Deimos: god of terror, son of Ares_

_Hades: god of death_


	2. Order of the Fried Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets the Order, Hermione learns secrets about Dumbledore, and Hades appears out of freaking nowhere.  
> How the crap did he get in without knowing the secret?

Harry stared. "Uncle Moony, why are the Order living in a house radiating with Dark magic?"

Remus winced. "I suggest you don't tell your friends you can sense Dark magic, cub. And the house is protected by the Fidelius Charm, as well as various powerful Dark spells."

"Again, why?"

"I have no idea."

"Stop chatting and get inside!" Moody hissed, his eyes darting around. Harry rolled his eyes. There was no one nearby, he would have sensed.

Harry was suddenly pushed forward by the pink-haired woman -- Tonks -- and he heard Moony growl at her warningly. Tonks made a noise of protest as he marched up to the house and opened the door.

Instantly, he was attacked by a dark blur, and he heard Sirius whisper, "Pup. You're safe!"

"Pads, you're choking him," Moony sighed, pulling his over-enthusiastic lover off of Harry. "And you're blocking the doorway."

Harry sniggered quietly. "Hey, Uncle Padfoot. Why are we whispering?"

"B****y hag wakes up at the slightest noise and screams everyone's ear off," Sirius scoffed. "Keeps shrieking about Mudbloods and Blood Traitors."

"Well, if your house was suddenly invaded by your enemy, you'd be annoyed, too," Harry pointed out. "I don't know why she's upset, though, she's surrounded by f****** Muggles."

"Language!" Moony hissed. "Merlin's sake, cub, you're a miniature Sirius!"

Harry grinned devilishly, and Sirius smirked. "What's wrong with that, Uncle Moony?"

There was a loud _thump,_ and Mrs. Weasley's voice cried, "Tonks!"

"I'm sorry!" Tonks squawked. "It's the b****y umbrella stand-"

The curtains beside Harry flew open, revealing a gray-haired witch, who immediately began shrieking. This woke up all the other portraits, who joined in with her shrieking.

"MUBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS! FILTH! SHAME OF MY HOUSE!"

Harry winced and grabbed his head. _~Shut up, woman!~_ he snapped, accidentally speaking Parseltongue.

Silence immediately fell. The woman stared at him in shock. "A speaker?" she breathed. The other portraits began whispering to each other.

"Yeah. Now shut up. Your voice grates on my ears." Harry turned to Sirius, ignoring the woman. "Where's the library? I'm bored."

Sirius sniggered, then yelped. "Library? But pup, pranks!"

Moony rolled his eyes. "I'll show you the library, cub," he said dryly.

"Thank you, Uncle Moony. Knowledge is important," Harry said, smirking at Sirius.

"Who are you?" the woman demanded.

"Bored of this conversation." Sirius cackled, and Remus rolled his eyes again.

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed. "I hope you don't speak like that to anyone else!"

"Oh," Harry said icily, "so it's not wrong to sass a Dark witch, but it is to sass a Light witch? I'm sorry, but are you my mother?"

Mrs. Weasley gasped in fury.

"No, you aren't my mother. If I had my way, Sirius would be my mother."

"Exact -- Hey!"

"If you want to know, my name is Harry James Potter," Harry told the woman in the portrait. "I'm Sirius' godson."

"The boy who destroyed the Dark Lord?" the woman whispered.

"You mean the pathetic excuse for a wizard?" Harry snickered. "I mean, he was nearly killed by a two-year-old, was stopped from stealing a powerful object by an eleven year old, and was defeated in a duel by a teenager. You'd think he'd get the hint that he's a stupid b-"

"Language!"

"-butt-head," Harry finished. By this time, the woman was gaping at him, and Sirius was cackling again. He turned to Remus. "Where's Hedwig? I'd like to send a letter."

"Harry, I don't think you should be sending letters-" Mrs. Weasley began.

"Again, you are not my mother, and I was not asking you. If you have a problem with me sending a letter, I'll have Uncle Moony glamor it so only the recipient can read it." _I was going to do that anyway,_ Harry thought.

Mrs. Weasley pursed her lips but said nothing.

"Hedwig should be waiting in your room," Remus smiled. "I'll show you the library when you're done with the letter?"

"And you can glamor th -- it, too?" Harry questioned.

"Yes. Siri and I will show you your room," Moony said calmly.

"You're rooming with Ron," Mrs. Weasley began.

"Oh h*** no, I am not sleeping with Ronald, he snores," Harry snapped.

"Don't worry, you're sleeping in Regulus' room -- my younger brother," Sirius amended. "The elf wouldn't let anyone in, I had to practically threaten him."

"Kreacher will obey all of Mr. Potter's orders," the woman said quickly.

Harry rolled his eyes and followed his godfather and Moony to the stairs.

\-------------

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_I know we don't get along all that well, but I've discovered that I need better grades in Potions in order to get the career I want. And before you ask, no, I don't want to be an Auror. I don't want to chase law-breaking wizards now, much less after the Dark Git is gone._

_I am respectfully requesting that you or one of your students tutors me in Potions this year. I want to understand the theory better as well as_ not _blow up any more cauldrons._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_The Brat-Who-Lived_

_Dear Griphook,_

_I want to allow two people, Alpha and Grim, to access my vaults, but only when I'm present and with permission (I don't trust Grim alone with thousands of galleons). Is it possible to do that?_

_On a side note, I'd like to look at Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw Manor. How much will a overseas Portkey cost?_

_Sincerely,_

_Anguis_

_\-----------_

The library was an amazing thing to behold. There were so many books that Harry was almost salivating. And the Dark magic radiating off of them... _ooh,_ it was glorious.

"Sirius and I will have to veto some of the books you want to read," Remus said, sighing when he saw the look of longing on Harry's face. "Some of them are incredibly deadly, unless one is a Dark wizard..."

Harry gave Remus an innocent look.

"You didn't."

Harry's look didn't change, except in his eyes, which were glittering.

"You did." Remus gripped his hair. "Great Merlin. Just make sure Molly doesn't find out."

Harry scoffed. "Oh, I intend to hide the secret from everyone except you and your lover-" Remus blushed "-the Demon twins, and maybe Hermione."

There was another person he wished he could have told, but no one had seen him in years....

"How did you know-"

"It was obvious. Sirius knows too many innuendoes."

Remus grimaced. "Of course he does."

"Now, where's the section on Parselmagic?" Harry questioned.

"I... have no idea," Moony answered, puzzled.

"That just means I get to explore," Harry said in glee. "Whoever finds it first has to buy the other a pound of Honeydukes' finest chocolate."

"You're on," Remus said quickly, the werewolf eager for more of the delicious sweet.

Twenty minutes later, Harry let out a shout of glee, and Remus cursed.

"Laaaanguaage, Uncle Moooonyyyy," Harry cackled.

"I was wrong," Remus snorted. "You're not a miniature Padfoot -- you're a mixture of both of us."

"D*** right!"

"Language!"

\---------------

" _Harry!_ "

Harry was suddenly bombarded by a bushy-haired girl. Harry hugged her back, glad Hermione's hug was much gentler than Sirius'.

"I missed you too, Mia," Harry chuckled.

Hermione leaned back, looking worried. "Ron and I were waiting in his room, but you never showed."

"I found the library," Harry shrugged, and Hermione blinked. "Just because I never seemed to be interested in books doesn't mean I'm not.

"I also didn't come looking for you because I'd rather not talk to Ronald."

"What did Ron do?" Hermione questioned. "Besides not writing to you... but I did that too, and you're not mad-"

"Oh, I am mad, but I know why you didn't write," Harry assured her. "Dumbledore is a butt."

"Harry!"

"Oh, sorry, I meant, 'Dumbledore is a thief, a liar, and is willing to send a teenager to his death,'" Harry said coldly.

Hermione gasped. For a moment, she looked like she was waiting for Harry to say, 'just kidding!' But when Harry's furious, dark expression didn't change, she whispered, "Dumbledore really..."

"I found out that he's been stealing from my vaults, put me under several blocks and compulsions, and was _paying_ the Dursleys," Harry hissed out. "Did you know there was also an illegal marriage contract between me and Ginny?"

"What!"

"Luckily, Sirius and Remus are my _legal_ guardians, so I was able to get rid of it," Harry smirked. "Someone's going to have to tell Ginny that she's not going to be the future 'Mrs. Potter,' though, and I'd rather not go within six feet of her."

Oh dear. Ginny was going to be disappointed by that.

"I don't want to talk about my crappy summer, 'Mia," Harry growled. "Let's talk about something else."

"All right," Hermione agreed. "Harry, I'm sorry I didn't write you. I wanted to-"

"I know, 'Mia," Harry soothed. "You're going to have to make it up to me, though." His eyes glinted.

"No, I am not buying you any more chocolate, Harry James Potter!"

"Did someone say-"

"-Harry James Potter?"

The twins had suddenly appeared from nowhere with two loud _cracks!_

"Gred, Forge, good to know you can Apparate," Harry drawled. "I'll have Remus ward my room against unwanted visitors. What is it you want?"

"We owe you-" Fred.

"-a little favor," George.

Harry grinned. "What did you have in mind?"

\----------

"Harry, you need more food than that!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.

Harry ignored her. "Where the h*** is the salad?"

"Language!" Hermione and Remus exclaimed over the twins' snickers.

"I made roasted carrots-"

"I need greens, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said distractedly. "The carrots are too fatty-"

"Whuh?" Ron asked with his mouth full of turkey.

"Kreacher!" Sirius called. There was a crack, and a small, dirty, balding house-elf appeared. "Get my godson some salad."

"Kreacher will get the brat some salad," the elf rasped.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me _brat,_ Kreacher," Harry said coldly. "I've had enough of that from Snape."

Kreacher glared at Harry before disappearing, reappearing soon after with a plate of salad.

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley snapped. "If you can't appreciate the meal I've made for you-"

"Oh, I would, if my food weren't laced with potions," Harry muttered.

"-than you can wait until breakfast to eat!"

"You are not Harry's mother!" Sirius roared at her. "You do NOT decide that!"

While Padfoot was yelling at a furious Mrs. Weasley, Harry leaned over to Moony. "Yes?" Remus whispered.

"Can you check my food?"

"For what?"

"Compulsions."

Moony blanched, then surreptitiously flicked his wand at Harry's food. The tip of his wand glowed green.

"It's safe to eat," Remus said, relaxing slightly.

"Well, of course it's safe to eat," a familiar voice drawled. "Do you really think I'd let my brother get poisoned?"

Everyone spun around. There was a dark-haired boy leaning against the doorway, smiling. Another boy, with red-blond hair and a nervous smile, was standing behind him.

Harry stared at the boy, who smiled lazily.

  
"Hadrian?"

  
"Hello, little brother. Did you miss me?"


	3. The Brother of the Boy-Who-Just-Won't-Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadrian is added -- very reluctantly -- to the Order of the Fried Chicken, Dumbledore interrogates Hadrian, who enjoys dangling a carrot over him, and the Potter brothers plan for Harry's trial.

"You certainly know how to make an entrance, Hadrian," Harry snickered, watching the chaos his brother had caused.

Hadrian smirked. "Oh, by the way, this is my friend Felix."

"Hi," the other boy said shyly.

"Welcome to the Order of the Fried Chicken," Harry snickered. Felix choked, and Hadrian laughed. "Hey Moony, stop staring and come meet your godson."

The werewolf blinked, grabbed Sirius, who was arguing with Mrs. Weasley ("DON'T YELL AT MOONY'S GODSON! NO _YOU_ -"), and dragged him out of the room. Harry, Hadrian, and Felix followed.

The uproar had caused Mrs. Black and the other portraits to wake up again, but unlike that morning, they were silent, but curious. "Mr. Potter-" Mrs. Black began nervously.

"Lord Potter," Harry corrected.

"Ah, you talked to Griphook," Hadrian said lazily.

"Uh-huh. And had Dumbledore's blocks, compulsions, and controlling potions removed, the title of magical guardian transferred to Uncle Padfoot, and the illegal marriage contract annulled," Harry added with a tone of ice. Moony and Padfoot yelped in alarm and anger.

Hadrian hissed furiously, and Felix blanched. "He did _what?_ "

"Mmm," Harry shrugged. "Now that we got that out of the way -- Where have you been? How did you know about the Order? How did you _find_ the Order? How did you find out about _magic?_ And why does your magic feel REALLY Dark?!"

Sirius let out a squawk of alarm at the last question and almost fell over, but Moony grabbed him and pulled him into his arms, looking exasperated.

Hadrian sighed. "I can't answer most of your questions, at least to your liking."

"Hade, it's obvious you're a Dark wizard and did some crazy sh-"

"Language," Moony interrupted.

"-stupid stuff," Harry amended, making Sirius and Hadrian snort. "I don't have a problem with any of that."

"You will have a problem."

"What do you want, then?" Harry asked.

Hadrian, guessing that Harry was bargaining for answers, said, "Time."

Harry frowned. "You'll answer all of my questions later?"

"Yes."

"I can work with that," Harry decided. "What questions _can_ you answer?"

"I found the Order because I followed your magical signature," Hadrian said calmly. "It's quite distinctive, though not as Dark as mine.

"My magic 'feels Dark' because I had to learn magic on my own, and I discovered the most glorious Dark library," Hadrian said with a smirk.

"You took Slytherin manor," Harry said with surprise. "Griphook said I was _supposed_ to get it, but you were older, or some crap like that."

Hadrian snorted. "The real answer is a bit more complicated than that, Harry."

"But you won't explain until later," Harry grumbled.

There was a beat of silence.

"So... teach me Dark magic?" Harry asked in glee. Moony groaned.

\----------

_Brat,_

_I refuse to spend more time with you than I have to. I agree that your skills in my class are on par with your skill in grace -- that is, non-existent. Therefore, your Potions tutor will be Draco Malfoy. I have sent him a letter regarding this. If your grades do not improve within the first month, I will tutor you. Reluctantly._

_Severus Snape, Potions Master_

_Anguis,_

_Overseas Portkeys usually cost 300 Galleons, but I'm willing to make an exception for the Lord of Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Merlin. 100 Galleons will be sufficient._

_As for your other request, Grim and Alpha need to give blood samples in order for your vaults to recognize them and give them access._

_The Weasels and the Bearded Phoenix have attempted to gain access to your vaults again, but have failed. The Bearded Phoenix's temper has risen; I suggest you be careful._

_They still have not discovered the annulled marriage contract. I look forward to seeing their faces, if it's anything as amusing as today...._

_In other news, we've found your parents' wills. Please set a date to have them read._

_Accountant Griphook, Gringotts Bank_

\----------

Hadrian and Felix had been reluctantly allowed to stay at Grimmauld Place, but only because Moony stood up for his godson, and Mrs. Weasley's mother side flared up when Felix admitted he had nowhere else to go. Felix was currently staying in Ron's room, much to the red-head's disgust, and Hadrian was now sleeping in Regulus' room with Harry.

The next morning, Hadrian -- Felix was deemed much less dangerous -- was taken to the kitchen, where Dumbledore was waiting, looking solemn.

"You must be Albus Dumbledore," Hadrian said with interest. Mrs. Weasley made a noise of admiration as she set down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him.

(She wouldn't know that Hadrian was just interested in the man's appalling wardrobe -- bright pink robes? really? -- and the man's beard, which was past his belt.)

"Ah, so you've heard of me," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"Difficult not to," Hadrian remarked. He sneakily flicked his wand at his plate, checking for potions. When his wand indicated his food was safe, he checked the goblet of pumpkin juice.

Ah, Veritaserum. Luckily, he knew a spell that would nullify it.

"I'm sure you want to spend time with your brother," Dumbledore coaxed. "You may join him and his friends once you've answered my questions."

"Ask away," Hadrian said lazily, taking a long gulp of the juice.

Dumbledore's eyes lit up. Hadrian cackled inwardly.

"As I'm sure you know by now, this house is under the Fidelius Charm," Dumbledore began. "I am unsure how you could find it without knowing the secret from me."

"I didn't know the secret, and I wasn't looking for the house," Hadrian said vaguely, taking a bite of eggs.

"What were you looking for?" Dumbledore asked.

"Who," Hadrian corrected.

Dumbledore tried to get Hadrian to elaborate, but Hadrian said nothing. Finally, Dumbledore moved on.

"Who trained you with magic?" he asked. "You are well-learned, but I have no record of you attending any other magical school."

"Hmm? Oh, you wouldn't; Karkaroff holds his private students close to his chest," Hadrian shrugged, taking another sip of pumpkin juice.

"Karkaroff? You were a student a Durmstrang?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes darkening slightly.

"I was, until Karkaroff mysteriously disappeared," Hadrian sighed. "Pity, I liked tormenting the Dark Arts teacher."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow.

Hadrian smirked. "His temper is easy to flare. Especially when one refuses to learn in his class."

Dumbledore seized on the information like a child presented with candy. Of course Hadrian could be trusted, he wouldn't learn Dark magic!

But you should never take candy from a stranger....

\---------

"How do you reckon he found the house?" Ron asked in a hushed voice.

Harry rolled his eyes. Why the heck was he forced to spend time with the loud redhead? He wished he were talking to the twins....

"I don't know," Hermione said frustratedly. "I can't find anything in Sirius' library. Most of the books hate me."

"Did you ask Sirius for permission to use it?" Harry asked.

"Well, no," Hermione admitted.

"That's your problem, then. You have to have permission from Lord Black to use the library," Harry explained.

"How do you know all this?" Ron demanded.

"I had to learn pureblood etiquette because apparently, I'm Lord Potter," Harry sighed irritably. _And Lord Merlin, Lord Gryffindor, and Lord Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff._

Ron grimaced sympathetically.

"Which reminds me, I have to attend some stupid Ministry ball for pureblood lords," Harry grumbled. "It's about a week before school starts, which is good."

"You can't go, that's when we're buying books!" Ron exclaimed.

"I already got this year's supplies, Ron," Harry corrected him. "I'll have to ask Kingsley if I can go, since Dumbledore is currently ignoring me."

"He's not _ignoring_ you, Harry!" Hermione said quickly. "He's just really busy this year, what with You-Know-Who's return!"

"Oh, he's definitely ignoring me," Harry snorted. "I sent him a letter asking if I could change my electives to Ancient Runes and Arithmancy instead of Care and Divination, and he returned the letter unopened."

Ron spluttered. "Why are you changing classes, Harry? Care and Divination are easy!"

"Maybe I'm tired of the fraud predicting my death every class," Harry snapped. "And Care has become incredibly dangerous. I like Hagrid, but he's a horrible teacher."

"That's wonderful, Harry!" Hermione squealed. "You'll love Ancient Runes-" And she began yammering on about how wonderful the class was.

Harry chuckled silently. That was one way to get Ron to shut up. And he learned more about Hermione's favorite class.

\-----------

"The child has left me with more questions than I started with," Dumbledore sighed to Mrs. Weasley after Hadrian had left. "He's certainly cunning and intelligent. I think I'll let him attend Hogwarts, if only to keep an eye on him."

"Do you think he can be trusted?" Molly worried.

"With some things, Molly; with some things," Dumbledore replied absent-mindedly. "Has Alastor found out about young Felix's past?"

"Not yet," Molly responded. "It's probably because he's Muggleborn, or his mother is a witch."

"Good," Dumbledore smiled. "What have you found out about Felix's talents?"

"He says he wants to be a Healer...."

\----------

"How was your interrogation?" Harry sniggered when Hadrian appeared in their bedroom, Felix in tow.

"Wonderful. Dumbledore thinks I hate Dark magic and enjoy messing with people," Hadrian smirked, sitting on his bed and dragging Felix with him. "Which is only _half_ right."

"You'll get along well with the Demon twins," Harry grinned.

"The Demon twins?" Hadrian mused, as Felix's eyes widened slightly. "The two redheaded menaces?"

"Yes."

"I think I will," Hadrian smiled lazily. "Now, we need to talk about your trial."

"I suppose you have some good advice about not getting my wand snapped?" Harry sighed.

"Of course I do. Just request Veritaserum."

\---------

_Dear Mrs. Figg,_

_If it's not too much trouble, I need your help...._


	4. The Brat-Who-Lived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadrian meets the twins, the rest of the house fears for their lives, and Harry annoys the crap out of the Ministry.

Hadrian wanted to introduce himself the 'Demon Twins,' but they found him first.

He was scouting out the drawing room -- apparently, there was a Boggart, and he wanted it -- when he was gently shoved into a closet and the door was slammed shut.

" _Lumos._ "

Two wands lit up, revealing the ghoulish, grinning faces of Fred and George Weasley.

"Hello-"

"-Hadrian."

"I don't normally enjoy being shoved into closets," Hadrian mused. "But since you want to talk to me about something without anyone else overhearing... I can make an exception."

The twins smirked. "We met the Queen of Darkness-" Fred.

"-in Diagon Alley-" George.

"-and we were wondering-" Fred.

"-if you would allow-" George.

"-us to be-" Fred.

"- _your_ Demons." George.

Hadrian smiled wickedly, and the twins cackled.

For the rest of the day, the twins and Hadrian were practically inseparable, and everyone inwardly shivered at the disasters the two were planning.

\----------

"I already picked out my outfit for Wednesday, Mrs. Weasley," Harry snapped. Well, Hadrian had, but Mrs. Weasley didn't need to know that.

"Are you sure you-"

"Uncle Moony said it was fine, and so did Kings," Harry said coldly. "And it's none of _your_ business, anyway."

Mrs. Weasley looked a combination of hurt, frightened, and angry, but she said nothing.

"Harry!" Sirius shouted. "Prank war to soothe negative emotions?" Fred and George perked up.

"Only if the twins and Hade are on my team!" Harry shouted back. The twins grinned wickedly, and Hadrian sighed.

"Four against two?" Sirius whined. "So unfair!" Remus snorted from next to Harry.

"Four teens with less experience in pranks against two adults with a _lot_ experience in pranks," Harry responded.

"Bold of you two to assume I'm on Siri's team," Remus smirked.

"WHAT!"

"'Mia, the teams are uneven, would you join Uncle Moony and Uncle Mutt?" Harry asked.

"Uncle WHAT?" Sirius demanded.

"I'm staying out of the prank wars," Hermione said fervently.

"I'll do all my homework the day it's assigned and never complain."

"And?" Hermione asked.

"I'll let you borrow those books you were interested in," Harry muttered so Mrs. Weasley wouldn't hear.

Hermione grinned. "I'm in."

"Good, Sirius might actually listen to reason now," Remus deadpanned.

"REASON, THY NAME IS MOONY."

Harry and the twins sniggered, and Remus snorted. "Doesn't mean you listen, though!"

"True, that!"

\-----------

The prank war _did_ remove Harry's irritation, impatience, anger, and worry. It also taught him _never_ to get on his brother's bad side. Sirius had accidentally insulted Felix, and the morning of Harry's trial, Hadrian had his revenge.

A loud yell of alarm and shock suddenly echoed through the house, making Harry jump and the twins smirk. "What did you do?" Hermione demanded, torn between amusement and anger.

"We didn't-"

"-do anything," the twins said innocently.

"They didn't," Hadrian said lazily, giving Harry a deadly grin. Harry sniggered.

Sirius appeared in the kitchen, wild-eyed, and the whole kitchen dissolved into laughter, excluding Hadrian and including Mrs. Weasley.

He was covered, from shoulders to feet, in thick hair. Not just any hair -- _Slytherin green_ hair. He also had slitted eyes like a snake's, and when he spoke, his forked tongue was visible.

"What the heck did you do to me?!" Sirius squawked. "Turn me back! I look like a Sssssssslytherin!" He yelped again. "Why are my sssssssez-"

"Part of the curse," Hadrian shrugged.

"You're of age?" Mrs. Weasley yelped in surprise. "But you're a sixth year-"

"I started my education at Durmstrang a year late," Hadrian interrupted. "And even if I weren't seventeen, this house is so full of magic the Ministry wouldn't know if _Fiendfire_ was cast."

"You can cast _Fiendfire?_ " the twins exclaimed. Hadrian shook his head slightly and glanced at their mother, who was frowning suspiciously as she fixed up the eggs.

Mr. Weasley entered the kitchen with an exhausted look on his face, jumping a mile when he saw the furry snake-man. "...Sirius?" he questioned.

"Arthur doezn't even know who I am!" Sirius wailed, making the twins laugh again.

"I'm not even going to bother asking," Mr. Weasley sighed, sitting down next to Harry. "We'll be using the Underground, Harry. Do I look like a Muggle?"

Harry glanced at the sweater and jeans. "I'd give it a nine out of ten."

"What?"

"You look like a Muggle," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

\-----------

"You're late," the woman, Madam Bones, Harry presumed, said coolly.

"I'm ever so sorry," Harry said sweetly, "I was unaware that the time had changed, given the fact that we left early, at least for the _original_ time. I hope it doesn't make me look bad, Madam?"

"It doesn't matter," Fudge snapped.

"It's sooo good to see you again, Minister," Harry said smoothly.

Fudge looked taken aback.

"Can we get on with the trial?" Madam Bones sighed, a mixture of amused and annoyed.

"Right, yes," the Minister blustered. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, sir," Percy Weasley said in glee.

"Oh, hi, Percy!" Harry said happily, ignoring Percy's glare.

"Quiet," Fudge ordered. "Disciplinary hearing of the twelfth of August **(blah blah blah)** by Harry James Potter-"

"Lord Potter," Harry corrected.

The toad beside Fudge laughed. "My dear Mr. Potter, do you expect us to believe that you are, in fact, a Lord of a Noble House?"

"I'm actually the Lord of three Most Ancient and Noble Houses, the Lord of a Noble House, and the Heir to a Noble House," Harry said lazily. Gasps echoed from the Wizengamot. He lifted his hand to show them the Potter, Merlin, Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor rings.

"Impossible!" Fudge squawked.

"What's impossible, sir?" Harry questioned. "Oh, I know! How about three Dementors deciding they wanted mine and my cousin's souls?"

"What!"

Whispers echoed around the room.

"How about you slandering and bullying a minor?"

"Lies!" Fudge squawked.

"How about giving a minor a full trial for a simple thing of underage magic?"

"Silence!" the Minister snapped.

"He's right, Minister," Madam Bones said with a sigh. "I told you, he's just a child. And you never actually heard Mr. Potter claim He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's return."

"Because I didn't," Harry sniffed.

More gasps.

"You didn't?" Fudge exclaimed.

"No. I didn't. I remember nothing after disappearing from the middle of the maze until reappearing at the stands with C-cedric's body." Harry's voice cracked slightly, and he cleared his throat. He didn't even _like_ Cedric; why was he upset?

"How can we be sure you are telling the truth?" the toad asked slowly.

"Veritaserum would work, ma'am," Harry suggested. "As long as you keep Dumbledore from entering."

"Yes, good idea," Fudge grunted. "Aurors, keep the menace of a headmaster from entering."

The two Aurors on either side of the door bowed and left the room. The Auror beside the stand stepped forward with a vial in his hands.

"Wait," Madam Bones ordered. "Are we allowed to ask you about the Triwizard Tournament?"

"If I've been obliviated, I won't be able to to tell you much," Harry warned. "But you have permission, ma'am."

"Open your mouth and stick out your tongue, Mr. Potter," the Auror said stiffly. Harry obeyed.

\------------

_"On the night of August 2nd, were you and your Muggle cousin attacked by dementors?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And you used your Patronus in self-defense?"_

_"Yes."_

_"No one else saw the dementors or your Patronus?"_

_"Mrs. Figg did."_

_"Who is Mrs. Figg?"_

_"A Squib who's been spying on me for Dumbledore."_

_"..."_

_"On the night of June 24th, what happened after you and Mr. Diggory touched the Triwizard Cup?"_

_"It was a Portkey. It took me into darkness. I remember waking up at the stands with Cedric's body."_

_"Was there any indication of who killed Mr. Diggory?"_

_"There was a trace of Dark magic, the Killing Curse."_

_"You can sense-"_

_"We don't have permission to ask him that question, Madam Umbridge._

_"What happened after you appeared at the stands that night?"_

_"The False Professor Moody took me to his office and claimed that he'd helped the Dark Lord return. He tried to kill me, but Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Snape stopped him. His potion wore off, revealing Bartimaeus Crouch Junior. He told us how he escaped. Professor Dumbledore took me to his office afterward and made me explain what happened. It went dark for a minute, and I was in the Hospital Wing with my friends."_

_"That's enough, Mr. Potter._

_"Do you think Dumbledore was the one who obliviated him, Amelia?"_

_"It's possible, Minister. There was no one else in his office, Mr. Potter?"_

_"No."_

_"...There are no other questions at this time. Administer the antidote."_


	5. The Locket of the Dark Git

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadrian and Harry find a locket while cleaning, Hermione Granger isn't Hermione Granger, and Sirius almost blows up a goblin's office.

"I don't get why we still have to clean," Weasley complained.

"Because, Ron, we don't want to live in a house full of Dark magic," Mrs. Weasley said crisply.

"Because we don't want a kid to find an object that could hurt them," Harry retorted. "Just because it's Dark doesn't mean it's bad or dangerous."

Hadrian smirked at Mrs. Weasley's outraged look.

"Liar!" Weasley exclaimed. "All Dark things are bad and dangerous and evil, and so are Dark wizards-"

"So Merlin was bad, dangerous, and evil?" Hermione said exasperatedly.

"WHAT?"

"Merlin was a Dark wizard," Hadrian said lazily. "It's not in _Hogwarts, a History_ , but it _is_ in _Mages of Times Past._ "

"What's a Mage?" Harry queried.

"Well-"

Hadrian was about to answer when Dark magic flared through the room. Malicious, cold Dark magic. He pulled a familiar locket out of the chest he was working on.

" _How?_ " Hadrian hissed, accidentally speaking Parsel. Harry jumped, but said nothing; no one else had heard Hadrian speak. " _It waz sssssupposssssed to be in Slytherin's vault!_ "

"I think I need a breather," Harry said calmly. "Mrs. Weasley, Hadrian and I will be back in a few."

Mrs. Weasley opened her mouth to protest, but Harry added, "Do I have to remind you that you are not my parent or guardian?" He dragged Hadrian out of the room before she could respond.

" _How can you speak Parseltongue?_ " Harry demanded. " _I thought mine wasn't genetic!_ "

" _Salazar Slytherin is not the only person descended from Naga,_ " Hadrian said stiffly, gripping the locket angrily. " _Our mother was descended from a Squib line of the Nagas. That isn't important at the moment; we need to show the goblins this locket._ "

" _Why?_ "

" _Do you know what a Horcrux is?_ "

\----------

"You know, I don't think I caught your name," Hermione said quietly to Hadrian's friend after Harry and Hadrian had left. No one else was listening; Ginny and Ron were arguing quietly with each other, Mrs. Weasley was trying to break them up, and the twins were speaking in whispers, making sure their mother heard nothing.

"Felix," the boy said softly, carefully picking up a music box and studying it.

"Felix...?"

"Until five months ago," Felix said after a pause, "I thought my last name was Reed. I thought I was a Muggle-born. It turns out, my mother cheated on my father with a wizard -- Fabian Prewett."

Hermione blinked in shock.

"Mr. Prewett never knew he'd had a child," Felix said quietly. "He was too busy killing Death Eaters."

"Ki... what?!"

Felix smiled sadly at her. "Everyone believes the Death Eaters to be murderers and Dumbledore and his followers to be good. Truth is, they both kill and break laws. That's why I'm neutral."

Hermione bit her lip. "How did you find out who your father was?"

"A blood test," Felix explained. He put the music box into his bag. "Gringotts provides them for only two Galleons. It not only tells you your parentage, but powerful wizards in your ancestry, and what you're heir to. Very few times, it tells whether you have blocks on your magic, compulsions, or Obliviations."

"It sounds interesting," Hermione sighed, "but I'm a Muggle-born..."

"Didn't you know?" Felix asked in surprised. "I thought you would, considering you know so much."

Hermione blushed at the compliment. "Know what?"

"Muggle-borns are all descended from Squibs. Where else do you think they get magic?"

Hermione lit up. "Really? I always assumed our magic just... appeared. I wonder how long it takes for the magic to manifest-"

Felix chuckled. "Looks like I gave you a new project."

"I'd like to get a blood test!"

\---------

"Uncle Moony," Harry said, "Hadrian and I would like to go to Gringotts. It's important."

Remus frowned slightly. "All right. Who else is going?"

"Hermione," Hadrian said smoothly. "She was to take a blood test."

"I _thought_ she'd found a new project." Hermione had sequestered herself in the library as soon as they'd finished cleaning the drawing room.

"We should take Uncle Pads too," Harry decided. "I think he needs a Magical Aura test. You, too."

"Why?" Remus asked slowly.

"Harry and I believe that Dumbledore has put blocks and compulsions on you and Uncle Sirius as well," Hadrian said calmly. "There may also be Obliviations."

Remus' eyes flashed gold, signifying that the wolf was angry. "Fine. Padfoot!"

Sirius entered the room, pouting. The prank had worn off a few hours earlier, but his hair had a streak of green. "What."

"We're going for a walk tomorrow," Remus said quietly, glancing at the door. "You're coming in your Animagus form. Harry and Hade think Dumbledore put blocks on our magic."

Sirius looked a mixture of pleased and furious. "If there is, I'm gonna kill him."

"No, you won't," Harry and Remus chorused. Sirius pouted.

"Will Felix be joining us?" Remus asked.

Hadrian's eyes darkened. "I don't trust the Weasleys to be alone with him." Even with the twins protecting him.

"Can we-" Fred.

"-join you-" George.

"-too?" both.

Sirius let out a loud yelp, jumping into Remus' arms. "Warn a guy!"

\---------

"You found a Horcrux!" Griphook sputtered in alarm.

"Yes," Hadrian said firmly. He handed Griphook the locket. "I'd like the Horcrux removed without damaging the carrier. The locket belongs to me."

Harry gave him a confused look but said nothing.

"Yes, of course, Lord Slytherin," Griphook agreed. Remus, Sirius, the twins, and Hermione looked shocked, while Felix was unsurprised. "It will be returned to Slytherin vault in two days. Is there anything else?"

"Fred, George, and Hermione would like blood tests," Harry said, "and Uncle Padfoot and Uncle Moony need Magic Aura tests."

Griphook grimaced. "I can see this will take a while." He pulled out a small hand-mirror. "Axebender!"

Another goblin appeared in the mirror. "Yes, Accountant Griphook?"

"Bring Swordbreaker, three blood tests, and two Magic Aura tests," Griphook ordered. He paused. "And a Dark Magic Reactor."

"Yes, Accountant Griphook." The mirror showed Griphook's reflection again.

"A Dark Magic Reactor?" Hadrian asked sharply.

"Yes, I need to make sure that this is, indeed, a Horcrux before we continue," Griphook explained. "That and... well, I will explain when this office only has the three of us."

Harry exchanged worried glances with his brother. What was going on?

Two more goblins, one of them Axebender, entered a moment later with several papers and an odd-looking probe. "If Mr. and Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger would follow me," Axebender said stiffly.

"And if Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black would come with me," the other goblin said boredly.

"I'll go with Mr. Lupin," Felix said, glancing at Hadrian, who nodded.

Soon the office was empty except for Hadrian, Harry, and Griphook. Griphook hovered the probe over the locket, and it flashed red.

" _Horcrux detected,_ " a flat voice said in Latin.

"Lord Potter, I would like to see your scar for a moment," Griphook said quietly. Hadrian's eyes darkened with fury.

Harry blinked and leaned forward, and Griphook used the probe to scan the lightning-bolt scar. It flashed red again.

" _Horcrux detected._ "

Hadrian let out a long stream of curses in Parseltongue.

"We need to remove the Horcrux immediately," Griphook growled. "Lord Slytherin, Lord Potter, if you'll follow me."

\--------

"Please place three drops of blood on your parchment," Axebender said flatly.

Hermione pricked her finger, excitement rushing through her, and let a few drops of blood land on the paper. It glowed green for a moment, and then words appeared:

_Name: Cassiopeia Selene Lestrange_

_Twin Sister: Sagitta Crescent Lestrange_

_Mother: Bellatrix Lestrange Née Black (compromised, living)_

_Father: Rodolphus Lestrange (compromised, living)_

_Godfathers: Bartimeus Crouch Junior (compromised, living); Rabastan Lestrange (compromised, living)_

_Godmother: Narcissa Malfoy Née Black (living)_

_Adopted Name: Hermione Jean Granger_

_Adopted Mother: Jean Granger (compromised, living)_

_Adopted Father: Wendell Granger (compromised, living)_

_Notable Ancestors: Duke Edelworth Sanguis (Vampire; adoption); Duke Valentin Sanguis Née Noctis (Vampire Royal; adoption)_

_Lady of:_

_Sanguis_

_Noctis (Vampire Royal)_

_Heir to:_

_Lestrange_

_Crouch_

_Warning: Blocks and Compulsions Detected_

Hermione blinked. "Sir? Mr. Axebender?"

The goblin gave her a curious look. "Miss Granger?"

Silently, Hermione gave him the paper. The goblin's jaw went slack.

"B***** H***!" the twins shouted, staring at their blood tests.

"Language!" Hermione exclaimed.

"We have blocks and compulsions," said one twin.

"We will set you up for a Magic Aura test immediately, Mr. and Mr. Weasley, Princess," Axebender said nervously.

Fred and George grinned at Hermione.

"Princess-"

"-huh?"

"Shut up."

\--------

"Three drops of blood," Swordbreaker ordered.

Remus sighed and pricked his finger, allowing three drops to land on the parchment. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day, with lots of bad news.

_Magical Aura Test for R.J.L.:_

_Level: 7/10 (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.) (Without Block: 9/10)_

_Affinity: Neutral (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.) (Without Block: Dark)_

_Transfiguration; Charms; Defense; Dueling; Potions_

_Animagus: Night Wolf (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)_

_Creature: Werewolf (Attempted Connection Block, L.L.)_

_Mate: Sirius Orion Black (Attempted Block, L.L.)_

_Other:_

_Obliviations performed October 5, 1975 and October 31, 1980 (A.P.W.B.D.)_

_Compulsions: hate Slytherins; listen to Albus Dumbledore; be loyal to the Order; hate Voldemort; distrust Severus Snape; hate wolf (A.P.W.B.D. and L.L.)_

Remus growled, his anger allowing the wolf to surface. Oh, Dumbledore was going to _pay_.

\-------

_Magic Aura Test for S.O.B.:_

_Level: 7/10 (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.) (Without Block: 9/10)_

_Affinity: Neutral (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.) (Without Block: Dark)_

_Transfiguration; Charms; Dueling; Defense_

_Animagus: Grim_

_Creature: none_

_Mate: Remus John Lupin (Attempted Block, L.L.)_

_Other:_

_Obliviations performed October 5, 1975 and October 31, 1980 (A.P.W.B.D.)_

_Compulsions: hate Slytherin; hate Snape; listen to Albus Dumbledore; be loyal to the Order; distrust Severus Snape; hate Voldemort_

_Previous Compulsions: tell Severus Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow; allow Albus Dumbledore guardianship over Harry James Potter; give Albus Dumbledore control over Black Wizengamot seats_

Sirius sat blankly for a moment, too stunned to react. Then-

"I'M GOING TO KILL ALBUS B****Y DUMBLEDORE!"

His magic erupted, cracking Swordbreaker's desk in two.

\-------

_Magical Aura Test for C.S.L.:_

_Level: 5/10 (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.) (Without Block: 9/10)_

_Affinity: Light (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.) (Without Block: Dark)_

_Transfiguration; Charms; Potions; Defense; Arithmancy; Runes_

_Animagus: tigress (Blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)_

_Creature: Vampire_

_Mate: Severus Tobias Snape (Half-Vampire) (Attempted Block, A.P.W.B.D.)_

_Other:_

_Obliviations performed monthly since 1984_

_Potions: Armortentia (A.P.W.B.D., M.W. Née P., R.B.W.)_

_Compulsions: trust Dumbledore and Weasleys; hate Slytherins; distrust Severus Snape_

_Previous Compulsions: ask the hat to sort into Gryffindor; help Harry Potter protect the Sorcerer's Stone; help Harry Potter solve the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets; ask for a Time Turner and extra classes; help Harry Potter win the Triwizard Tournament_

_Magical Aura Test for F.G.W.:_

_Level: 8/10_

_Affinity: Neutral (Blocked, M.W. Née P.) (Without Block: Dark)_

_Transfiguration; Charms; Defense; Dueling; Inventing; Runes_

_Animagus: fox (Blocked, M.W. Née P.)_

_Creature: Quarter-Vampire (Parental)_

_Mate: Blaise Zabini (Dark Veela) (Blocked, M.W. Née P.)_

_Other:_

_Compulsions: hate Slytherins; listen to Albus Dumbledore (M.W. Née P.)_

_Previous Compulsions: give Harry Potter the Marauder's Map (A.P.W.B.D.)_

_Magical Aura Test for G.F.W.:_

_Level: 8/10_

_Affinity: Neutral (Blocked, M.W. Née P.) (Without Block: Dark)_

_Transfiguration; Charms; Defense; Dueling; Inventing; Runes_

_Animagus: fox (Blocked, M.W. Née P.)_

_Creature: Quarter-Vampire (Parental)_

_Mate: Luna Lovegood (Partial Seer)_ _(Blocked, M.W. Née P.)_

_Other:_

_Compulsions: hate Slytherins; listen to Albus Dumbledore (M.W. Née P.)_

_Previous Compulsions: give Harry Potter the Marauder's Map (A.P.W.B.D.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating; I'm not feeling well.  
> I've never done a Snamione fic before, bear with me.


	6. The Toad has a Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hadrian and Harry really hate Dolores Umbridge, Severus discovers that the know-it-all is his mate, and Weasley attempts to be Harry's friend again.

"Ron's a _Prefect?_ " Lee sneered. "Ron Weasley? I-Have-No-Brains-Ron-Weasley?"

"Yes," Cassiopeia/Hermione snorted. "I was sent a Prefect badge as well, but I declined. I want to be resorted."

"Why?"

"I discovered that I was adopted by the Grangers. I'm going to be resorted under my real name."

"We're going to be resorted too," Fred told Lee.

"About time, you were miserable," Lee exclaimed. "Have fun with the little snakes." He grinned when everyone in the compartment stared at him. "It was obvious. I'm not against Slytherins, just Parkinson, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle."

"Speaking of," Harry said, "do you know if Malfoy and Parkinson are the Prefects this year?"

"Unfortunately."

"Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy's son?" Hadrian asked interestedly. "And Marion Parkinson's daughter?"

"Yeah, how'd you know Parkinson's dad?"

"He's on the School Board."

Harry didn't question how and why Hadrian knew the wizards on the School Board; clearly, Hadrian had some sort of plan for this year.

"Well, I'd better go," Lee apologized. "Your sister asked for help with her Charms homework."

"Isn't she a little young to flirt with you?" Hadrian asked, amused.

Lee grimaced. "Like I'd cave under _her_ advances. Anyway, see you." He left.

Cass removed her glamor, looking annoyed. She now had elegant black curls, dark eyes, and a curvy body. She looked a lot like her mother.

"You're going to dramatically reveal your real looks at the school, aren't you?" Hadrian chuckled. Cass smiled darkly in response.

"So, this year-" Fred.

"-we're going to-" George.

"-annoy the crap-" Fred.

"-out of Dumbledore-" George.

"-and the Ministry?" both.

"Of course," Hadrian agreed with a smirk.

"Why the Ministry?" Harry asked.

"Because they're not being very intelligent," Cass said haughtily.

There was a knock on the door and a blond girl appeared, smiling dreamily. George tensed, eyes lighting up.

"Oh, I didn't realize Lord Slytherin was in this compartment," the girl said softly. She bowed slightly as Hadrian gave her a curious look. "My name is Luna Lovegood." She smiled at George. "Hello, mate."

George purred, and Fred sniggered. This earned him a swat from his brother.

"Why _did_ you pick this compartment, Miss Lovegood?" Harry asked.

"Luna is fine, Lord Potter," Luna said simply. "Most everywhere else is full, except for a few compartments who don't accept Loony Lovegood." This was said matter-of-factly.

George hissed, and Cass sent him a warning glance. George silenced quickly.

"Oh, hello, Your Highness," Luna said happily, bowing to Cass, who was startled and suspicious. "I'm a Partial Seer, Your Highness. I could see your crowning when I was two."

Cass relaxed. "Cass is fine, you're George's mate."

"Mhmm." Luna plopped down on George's lap, and the red-headed boy made a happy noise. "What are we going to do about the Bearded Pheonix and the Toad?"

"Toad? Bearded Pheonix?" Felix questioned. Harry jumped; the boy was always so quiet, he kept forgetting he was there.

"The Toad, the Ministry's spy in Hogwarts," Luna said absentmindedly, pulling out a _Quibbler_ magazine. "The Bearded Pheonix is Albus Dumbledore."

"We're going to stop all of Dumbledore's progress while annoying both him and the Ministry," Hadrian replied, smirking.

Luna giggled. "I look forward to all the mischief."

Fred grinned teasingly. "She's perfect for you, Gred!"

George swatted him again.

\-------

"We have two transfer students and four resorts before we start the first year sorting," Dumbledore announced stiffly; he was probably still angry because Harry refused to change his mind about his own resorting. "Please welcome our newcomers."

"Granger, Hermione," McGonagall said.

"My name is actually Cassiopeia Lestrange, I found out this summer," Cass said briskly, standing.

Mutters of shock and shouts of "Lestrange?!" sounded around the Great Hall. McGonagall silenced them by shooting fireworks from her wand.

"Come forward, then, Miss Lestrange," McGonagall said with a sigh.

Cass stood up, tossing her black locks over her shoulder, and sauntered up to the Sorting Hat. McGonagall carefully placed the Hat on Cass' head-

"SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table applauded and shouted in glee, while Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff applauded politely and the Gryffindors remained stonily silent or booed. Weasley's shout of "Traitor!" was barely heard over the noise.

"Potter, Hadrian."

More whispers echoed around the Great Hall as Hadrian stalked up to the Hat. He held himself like a Dark Pureblood, eyes glittering and a small smirk on his face.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Hadrian joined Cass at the Slytherin table to loud yells.

"Potter, Harry."

Harry stood up to loud protests from Gryffindor and snide shouts from Slytherin. He cast the snake House a dark glare, sending them into surprised silence. He strode up to the Hat with slightly less grace than his brother, and allowed the Hat to sit on his head again.

_Ah, Mr. Potter. Ready to be sorted into your true House?_

_More than._

"SLYTHERIN!" the Hat shouted.

"What!" Weasley roared. "No!"

He was barely heard over the loud shouts of anger, surprise, glee, and derision. Harry scanned the staff table. A majority looked shocked; Snape's lip had curled with disgust and disbelief; Dumbledore's expression was blank, but his eyes were full of rage; the toad from Harry's trial had a small smile of triumph.

"The Boy-Who-Lived in Slytherin," Hadrian mocked, sniggering. Harry slugged his arm gently, rolling his eyes, and Cass cackled.

"Prewett, Felix," McGonagall said shakily.

Felix, looking nervous and worried, walked up to the Hat. It sat there for a long moment before shouting, "Hufflepuff!"

Hadrian looked both pleased and annoyed as the red-blond shot over to the cheering badgers. Harry smirked, knowing his brother had a crush on Felix, and would be disappointed that the boy was in a different House.

"Weasley, Fred."

"WHAT!" Weasley shouted again as both Fred and George stood up.

"You first, Forge, I insist," George said sweetly.

"No, Gred, I must protest," Fred said dramatically.

"Mr. and Mr. Weasley, will you stop making a mockery of the resorting and just be resorted?" McGonagall snapped in a strangled tone, ignoring the snickers.

Fred smirked and skipped up to the Hat, causing more laughter.

"You are annoying," the Hat drawled to the red-headed boy.

"You're welcome!" Fred said brightly.

"Slytherin!"

"WHAT!"

"Weasley, George."

"Slytherin!"

"WHAT!"

"Mr. Weasley, would you kindly stop shouting?!"

\--------

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few more moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices. First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students -- and a few of our older students ought to know that by now, too."

"What's illegal?" Fred and George whispered, causing quiet snickers from those in earshot.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time-" the twins smirked "-to remind you all that magic is not permitted in the corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.

"We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creature lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Subdued applause echoed around the Hall. Before Dumbledore could continue, the Toad made a horrendous noise.

" _Hem, hem._ "

"Is it all right?" Fred asked, mock alarmed.

"Does it need a Healer?" George whispered, mock concerned. The Slytherins around them were almost dying with silent laughter.

Dumbledore looked almost furious; instead of shouting at the Toad, however, he sat down and stared at her.

"Thank you, Headmaster, for those kind words of welcome" the Toad said in her sickly-sweet tone. Harry gagged.

"She's first," Hadrian muttered to the twins, who grinned wickedly. The Slytherins all blanched.

\---------

The day back was a fiasco.

Even though the Ministry had announced that Harry _hadn't_ claimed Voldemort's return, people still rejected him for following Dumbledore _and_ being resorted into the "Dark House." The Slytherins had backed off a bit, but that was because snakes stood up for their House.

Weasley and his sister were also becoming an irritation (or more like an infuriating problem). They would follow Harry and Cass around and insist on staying with them, all the while calling them slimy snakes and demanding they come back to Gryffindor. As if they could; Hogwarts students are only allowed one resort, unless with special permission from the School Board. (Luckily, Harry had owled Augusta Longbottom, warning her that Dumbledore might come looking for that "special permission" and that he and Cass in no way wanted to go back to the stupid lions.) They would also attempt to spy on them and their Slytherin friends (which now included Theodore Nott, Astoria Greengrass, and Blaise Zabini, Fred's mate). Harry and Hadrian were very close to hexing the two idiots.

Double Potions was going to be annoying.

Weasley insisted on sitting with Cass and Harry, which meant that he was smashed between an irritated Malfoy and a furious Cass.

"Keep your weasel away from me, Potter," Malfoy snapped.

Harry flinched. "He's not _my_ weasel," Harry said coldly, and Malfoy gave him a startled look.

_Stupid Magical Aura test. Couldn't my mate be someone who doesn't hate me?_

"Settle down," Snape drawled as he marched into the classroom. There was no need; as soon as the Potions master entered, silence fell.

Snape walked to the front of the classroom and turned to the class. "Before we-" Snape's eyes caught Cass's and he froze. Cass smiled flirtatiously, making Snape choke. Hadrian, Harry, Blaise, Theo, and Astoria snickered quietly.

Snape cleared his throat, ignoring the confused looks. "Before we begin today's lesson, I think it appropriate to remind you that next June you will be sitting an important examination..."


End file.
